#66 - Vices

Reasonable, listen, and progress

I have a weakness. Many, actually, but just one that concerns us here.

I’m quick to disagree. 

When someone suggests something I don’t agree with I’ll rationalise it away. 

This post is a sermon to myself on how to be better.

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Reasonable

It’s good to disagree. No qualms there.

Disagreement is a wonderful way to get to the truth. But there are different ways to doit. I find myself employing a steamroller technique. Here’s why that’s wrong….

I try to rationalise away the other person’s opinion. It becomes about clinging to my belief rather than getting to the truth.

There’s a wonderful Benjamin Franklin quote:

“So convenient a thing to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for every thing one has a mind to do.”

I consider myself a reasonable creature. And that’s a problem. It gives me free rein to rationalise away conflicting points of view.

The original reasonable creature

Listen

So what can I do? Am I destined to live a life trapped in my own bullshit? Of course not. There’s a way out:

Listen.

Simple. But not easy. When someone says something I don’t agree with I feel every fibre in my body straining to object. 

That’s when I have a decision: Jump in and rationalise to my hearts content? Or listen, and truly understand their point. I’m working towards the latter.

If you’re one of the unlucky few who cross paths me daily then do call me out! Someone needs to end the tyranny.

Progress

It’s so hard to change behaviour. We’ve all been there. My “No coffee” New Year’s resolution? Gone by January 6th.

What works is repetition. Repeat it enough and it starts to sink in.

Tell people. Write an article about it. You could even write it on your forehead before bed. If people aren’t sick of hearing it, you could be doing more.

You need to change how you see yourself. I spent a decade as the guy who took it too far after a few drinks. Not only did I see myself like that, but so did anyone who knew me well. A branding problem to say the least.

The only solution was a drastic rebrand. I spent time with the monks, quit my job, launched a startup, and went stone cold sober. I no longer find myself taking drugs at a strangers house at 8am. Progress.

So fingers crossed. I’ve said my piece. Hopefully this is a step towards being a more reasonable chap. One can only hope.

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My Week in Books📚

(two weeks worth)

Benjamin Franklin by Walter Isaacson

My second time reading this. SUCH a wonderful book. Franklin sounds like a great guy. One who didn’t take life too seriously. A rare thing. This won’t be my last time reading it.

Read & discussed with Hector Alexander.

Montaigne by Stefan Zweig

A biography of a 16th century French essayist. Yes, I’m aware how pretentious that sounds. Please accept my sincerest apologies. It is, however, a great book & just what I needed to read.

Montaigne locked himself in a tower, aged 38, to read and ponder. He stayed there for 10 years! He eventually concluded that everything is relative and one can’t just retreat from the world. Perhaps I’ll stick around a little longer.

Prisoners of Geography by Tim Marshall

So good. Can’t believe I didn’t read this earlier. All you need to know about the relationships between countries.

I’ll be updating the books I’ve read this year here. Any recommendations? Let me know! See 2021’s books here.

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A Final Thought 💡

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbours, and let every new year find you a better person.”

- Benjamin Franklin